Tales from a Tattooed Heart

Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Romans 12:20 NLT http://bible.com/116/rom.12.20.NLT Your worst enemy sitting across from you bound up in a chair screaming profanities at you, reminding you of all the hurt they have caused you. No remorse, just vulgar nasty sneers towards you while you listen to the most demonic voice you have ever heard. Their lies spit from between their teeth reaching your skin like acid and their eyes forbid rest from their hateful stare. You are free to move anywhere in the room and yet your enemy seems to fill it with their dark presence. There is little comfort in that they are bound, and you are free. The room still feels too small and the door is far too heavy to open. The windows that are meant to bar in the rightful prisoner seem to have you both trapped in and the air is hot and almost like poison to the lungs, thick and s

I am screaming on the inside. And well, on the outside too depending on the next little person to come to me to tattle on another, or the next time my husband chews too loudly... I am at the end of me. I have reached it, and sadly it is a way shorter trip than I would like to admit. I mean it didn't take much for me to crumble this time. Crying before and after everything I do. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel isn't even helping in this moment of self-pity and wallowing. I can't fix it now and that makes me sad. I can fix it someday way off in the future, but today I can't make it all better and that makes me feel defeated. I wonder how Moses felt while wandering for 40 years? I wonder how it felt for him to wander... He was provided for everyday by THE miraculous hand of God (just like me!) and his people had no needs that weren't met (just like my own family) BUT the people he was with still complained and still doubted (just like my people... only I'm a

Dear Big Father God, I thank you. I thank you for the big things in my life like; my family, my friends, my health, my home and of course toilet paper. I thank you for the small things like; coffee with creamer, warm socks, a view out my window and gas in my small bus. Today I thank you for the big and small things alike because tomorrow I'm not guaranteed to have any of the above. Tomorrow I may be seeking for the very thing I'm thankful for today, so today I take the extra measure of time to praise you for what I have today, knowing that the things I have today are already answers to my past pleadings and prayers, and I praise you for them today as maybe someday in the future I will need to ask for them again. Lord, in a moment of transparency with you and others, I ask that you will tune my heart in on the things that are not so earthly bound. All of the things I've thanked you for some at a cost, a style, a choice for me to have obtained it, and although you have prov